23rd Annual Retreat
Tentative Schedule*
Friday September 11th
4:30 – 6:00PM Newcomer’s Circle
New to Poly or Loving More Conferences? Orientation is a great place to get your questions answered and hear basic information on Loving More and the conference, as well as polyamory.
Jesus Garcia and Robyn Trask
6:00 – 7:00 PM
Dinner
7:30 – 9:30 PM
Welcome Announcements Opening Circle
Join us as we begin a wonderful weekend and learn about what we have in store for you; get a chance to meet the staff, presenters and other attendees for what will be a fun filled and informative weekend.
10:30 – 11:30 PM
Talking Circle
Saturday September 12
Gentle Yoga with James Shanti
8:00 – 9:00 AM
Breakfast
9:00 – 10:00 AM
Announcements/ Group Meetings
Announcement of the day’s presentations by the presenters gives you a great way to decide what sessions are best suited to you. Any schedule changes or other important announcements will also be made. Meet with support groups.
Presentation Session 1
10:00am-11:45am
HELP: What kind, when, where to find it, how to get it.
Living polyamorously (not to mention parenting while poly) can be fraught with difficulties. It may be true for everybody that “life’s a beach, and then you die”, but if you’re poly, it is often a ROCKY beach. Dealing with partners, dealing with authorities, dealing with families of origin, dealing with schools, dealing with children all present special challenges when your life includes multiple partners. Learn how to avoid trouble. Learn what to do when trouble looms. Bring questions, bring answers--let’s share our wisdom and experiences.
Valerie White
Beyond The Monogamy/Dominator Paradigm
This experiential workshop will explore ways to move beyond our monogamous and dominator programming of society and into an open partnership way. Most of us were brought up in a dominator authority model in our families and have been ingrained with monogamy as our model for relationships. Through discussion and exercises we will explore together ways to shift our programming to embracing a more partnership mode of relating in life. We will explore how genderizations of emotions and energy as masculine and/or feminine have served to rob both men and women of their full emotional expression as whole human beings. Experiential exercises are based both on Tantric teachings and the teachings of Riane Eisler author of The Chalice and the Blade and Sacred Pleasures.
Robyn Trask
My Body and Me
What do you like about your body? What don’t you like? What’s keeping you from unconditionally loving yourself? In this workshop we’ll explore how we feel about our bodies and how our feelings may keep us from being all we can be to ourselves and in our relationships. In a safe clothing-optional environment we’ll have the opportunity to take some risks and open ourselves to sharing those parts of our bodies that keep us from unconditionally loving ourselves. No one will be admitted once the workshop begins. Everyone will always be at choice as to how they participate and what they share.
Lee Hencen
12:00 – 1:00 PM Lunch
Presentation Session 2
1:30pm-3:15pm
“How do I tell them about my life and loves?”: Coming out Poly
The answer to this question will vary by your situation and with whom you are sharing. In this session we will explore the concerns you and/or your loves have regarding "being known" or coming out as poly. This is an opportunity to explore our own experiences with speaking to people who don’t practice our loving style and discover what considerations impact our sharing with people who matter to us. We can explore how these factors influence our lives and love situations . We'll talk about the conditions that make such opening up favorable for sharing and the motivations for doing so. And what can we polys and those we care about gain from our revelations? Come join the discussion, gain instructive information, listen to others' experience and wisdom so you can examine your own reservations on this issue. Carol's insights from professionals' encounters with their clients' on this issue and the lessons learned for the group's benefit for this instructive and interactive session.
Carol Morotti-Meeker, MS,MLSP
Polyamory in Media’s Spotlight
Over the last two years much has happened on the public stage that has the power to affect poly lives in ways both good and bad. More than 140 media events that focus on polyamory or are polyamory-related have been documented. Their sources range from prime-time TV plot lines to articles in campus newspapers. The good news: Polyamory is no longer socially obscure. The bad news: Visibility attracts attention from people who actively oppose the way we live our lives. Increasingly the media is the grass roots playing field that offers the most effective means of influencing public opinion – and hopefully public policy – in polyamory’s favor. There is no doubt that media interest in polyamory is at an all time high with no real end in sight. Whereas for many years sightings of poly-specific media events were very few and far between and consisted mostly of hostile daytime talk show experiences, today local, regional and national broadcast, print, and internet-based media are driving a much more positive trend, with polyamorists and polyamory movement leaders often in media’s spotlight. This tends to reflect well on the concept of polyamory, but troublesome media events still happen, events about which we must remain aware and address as is appropriate. Come hear more and ask questions about this exciting and challenging trend.
Anita Wagner
Let’s Talk About Sex
How exactly do we talk about sex, and say what we mean? There are many opportunities when the sexual conversation is necessary, but most of the time factors get in the way: embarrassment, inhibition, lack of vocabulary, fear of judgment, and so on. In this workshop we will learn techniques for having the sexual conversation boldly and gently, using words and ideas that we already know. Erotic preferences, safer sex negotiation and boundary agreements will all be included, but mostly we will focus on talking about what we want, and what feels good.
Eric Francis and Amanda Painter
Presentation Session 3
3:30pm-5:15pm
Bisexuality, Self-Knowledge, and Eros
This workshop is designed to assist participants in becoming more aware of how bisexual cultures and lovestyles complement and integrate with Polyamory. We open with a short poem about bisexuality by none other then William Shakespeare. There is nothing new to bisexuality or Polyamory, since even the bard practiced them. . . We continue with definitions and historical perspectives about the bisexual movement, especially in the late 20th century, with a special reference to the work of the late Fritz Klein, from a psychoanalytical perspective, and Lani Kaahumanu and Loraine Hutchins, from a cultural and earth‐centered perspective. Participants will be invited to share in small groups about bisexual dreams, wishes, fantasies, and experiences. Next will be a practical exercise based on the Klein Grid, a bi version of the Kinsley Scale. Participants will be invited to place themselves on this grid. Then they will mix and mingle while they ask questions of each other as to where they best fit, so that in the end everyone will stand on the floor in correspondence to their place on the grid, to everyone’s amusement!
Bisexuality is largely in the mind of the beholder. Participants will play the roles of givers and receivers in small groups. The messages will be expressed via soft touch and/or flirtatious gazing. The givers will keep their intention secret, and the receiver will be invited to guess as to what that is. In many cases, a non‐sexual intention will be interpreted as sexual, and vice versa, to the amusement of all.
Serena Anderlini`D’Onofrio
Poly Without Drama, Security Without Commitment
What would relationships be like if everyone took 100% responsibility for their own feelings? What if every surge of emotion was seen as an invitation to connect with essence and rise to a new level of awareness and love? What if we made the commitment to never again blame another person for our feelings? The more we do our own spiritual work, the more available and loving we are in the moment. We no longer cling to rules and impose agreements that we hope will keep our partners from triggering painful emotions in us; we welcome those emotions, work through them, and delight in our connections in whatever form they might take. Join us as we walk the path of open-hearted relationships!
Michael Rios and Sarah Taub
Sacred Sensual Touch Using Essential Oils
Enact the sacredness of being through balancing, relaxing and anchoring energy. The frequencies of rose and a myriad of other exquisite, therapeutic organic oils bring in the Shiva/Shakti energies into sensual massage tradition. To anoint means to connect with Spirit by the placing of oils. We will focus on the spine, feet and then muscles. Become aware of your own divinity while giving and receiving during this class. The experience is a blissful, aromatic journey with amplified intention. Bring a sheet or towel to lay on and be ready to feel divine.
Jimi Phillips
6:00 – 7:00pm Dinner
Evening Activites
7:30pm – 9:15pm
Connecting through the Mandala; Sacred Sexuality for the Polyamorous
This in depth interactive workshop combines the teachings of Taoist and Tantric Sacred Sexual practices to take you on a journey exploring what is possible when we tap into our most powerful creative energy. Using techniques of Tantra and Taoist fire breath, heart connection and energy exchange we will connect to ourselves and others in dyadic partnership, with multiple partners and with the entire group. It is recommended that you have some knowledge of Sacred Sexual breathing.
Robyn Trask
9:30pm – 11:15
Self Love, Pleasure and Masturbation
One of the most challenging quests that poly people face is what to do with jealousy. We have the idea that compersion is a kind of remedy, but how exactly do you learn that? I have a theory -- we learn it by masturbating together. In this highly educational group experience, we will learn to be fully present for ourselves while witnessing the pleasure of the other(s). Conjugal groups (couples, triads, etc.) will be encouraged to masturbate for themselves, and with or for whomever they choose. This experience is about sharing and witnessing selfsex, not contact sex. Bring your favorite toys, lube, a towel and your loving presence. Those who come “only to watch” will be available as active observers; that is, someone may ask you specifically to witness them. Enjoy an evening of actual radical humility facilitated by your friendly neighborhood astrologer,
Eric Francis
10:30-11:30 PM
Talking Circle
Sunday September 13
7:30-8:30am
Gentle Yoga with James
James Shanti has been a meditation practitioner for the past 17 years with 3 years of residency training at DaiBosatsu Zen Monastery. James received his Yoga Teacher’s Certification from the Vivekanada Ashram in India and has studied Pranic Healing in Manilla, Philippines and completed the 3.5 year Master’s Degree program in acupuncture and Chinese herbology. He has also been certified in the Thai form of acupressure at the Thai Traditional Hospital in Chiang Mai, Thailand.
8:00 – 8:45 AM Breakfast
9:00 – 10:00 AM
Morning Announcements and Group Meetings
Announcement of the day’s presentations by the presenters give you a great way to decide what sessions are best suited to you. Any schedule changes or other important announcements will also be made. Meet with network groups.
Presentation Session 4
10:15am-12:00pm
Speaking Truth, Meeting Needs, and Releasing Attachments
How many of us say “yes” to things we don’t actually want out of guilt, obligation, or a fear of losing connection? In many ways, “no” is the most intimate thing that one person can say to another – if I can hear your “no”, I can trust your “yes.” Practice the skills of self-awareness (“what do I really want?”), transparency (revealing our true desires), and non-attachment (dealing with the feelings associated with not getting our first choice) in this experiential workshop – these skills enable us to find the space of mutually desired and open-hearted connection that is available to us with each person.
Michael Rios and Sarah Taub
Poly Parenting
Many people react to polyamory by saying “I wouldn’t care what you do, but what about the children?” There is no evidence that having poly parents harms children, but being poly can raise unique issues in our parenting. How do we tell our kids and what do we tell them? What do we teach them? Since there are so many different ways of living an ethical poly life, each one raises a different set of issues in parenting. Come and share our stories, successes, and challenges.
Yankl Josephson
Hap-Poly Ever After: Long-Term Poly Partnership
What does committed long-term polyamory look like? What kinds of agreements and relationship structures can thrive and support each partner’s development and growth to make their dreams come true throughout their lifecycles? What have we learned about making this lifestyle work? And what shapes do our households and emotional lives take on, several decades down this path? For folks who want to share what they’ve done and how, or ask questions of those who have, a discussion (along with some roleplaying) of long-term polyamory and poly families with and without children.
Ben Silver
12:15pm-1:15pm Closing Circle
1:15pm-2:00pm Lunch
3:00pm Departure Time and check out (unless staying for Post Retreat Hangout)Post Retreat Chill Out *
This is a time to relax and just hangout with fellow attendees and staff but we do have a few things planned to unwind from the weekend. What better way to wind down from a wonderful weekend of intense learning.
6:00pm – 7:30pm Dinner/Pool party
Followed by Live musical entertainment with Ben Silver
Snuggle up and enjoy wonderful music from our very own Ben Silver
Ben Silver is a singer, musician and poly and bi activist who has been in an open primary relationship for 25 years. He and his partner started a support group for committed non-monogamous relationships in the ‘80s which met monthly for over 15 years. As a performer, Ben’s music slides through folk, R&B, funk, jazz and back again; he sings about freedom, the environment, LBGT issues, parenting and love. His writing has been published in “Carry it On,” ”Sing Out” magazine and the book “Hearing Everyone’s Voice.” Ann has worked in publishing, grantmaking, human rights, literary translation and grassroots international development. They have been life partners for 15 years before and 11 years after having a child, during which time they have continued to be openly poly.
After dinner and music Sunday Evening Choose from relaxing in the Hot Tub, Sauna or around a fire under the stars (fire circle is tentative pending weather and conditions)
Monday September 14
Post Retreat Hangout
8:00am – 9:00am Breakfast
9:15am – 10:15am Group Hike around Easton Mountain
10:30am - 12:00pm Talking Circle
12:00pm - 1:00pm Lunch
*You do need to register for the post retreat hangout Sunday night if you intend to stay Sunday and Hang.